Dear My Not-So-Fictional Family Members of Facebook,

Greetings. We really haven’t hung out since that family reunion in 1996 but it’s been great to reconnect on Facebook.  I love the pictures of your dog and it’s cool to see how much you now look like our grandfather.  We have different political beliefs; I think we both know that now.  I’ve turned into one of those Birkenstock-wearing liberals who likes science and “wastes my time” marching for rights that you think women already have. Your political beliefs are the polar opposite of that and today you’ve expressed how happy you are that President Trump is going to “give those terrorists what they deserve.”

I take it that you’ve heard that President Trump is poised to reinstate waterboarding, saying that “experts” have told him that torture “absolutely” works.  I don’t know who President Trump talked to but I’ve studied this topic quite a bit from my ivory tower; I even worked on this topic for a DoD-funded project. Let me tell you: all the experts I know say torture does not work.  Lots of evidence – collected from lots of countries and lots of terrorist groups over a long period of time – says the exact opposite: using torture will actually make our country more vulnerable to terrorists and terrorist attacks.  In this era of “alternative” facts, I understand that you might dismiss my facts. However, I hope you’ll at least look at them:

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