The Canard

“All the Fake News that is Fit to Print”

The Duck of Minerva, considered one of the nation’s top international relations blogs, has recently come under attack from Cat Fancy magazine. Aggressively trying to expand their market share and brand, the leading source of information for feline aficionados looking for the latest reviews of mechanical litter boxes is looking to acquire new assets, through hostile takeovers if necessary.

Duck readers are known to fit certain key demographic that are particular attractive to Cat Fancy – they are academics who like to cuddle up in bed watching science fiction and generally favor the company of cats to children. The Duck routinely features pictures of LOL cats as they are particularly suited to explaining the complicated cleavages of international relations theory.

Sasha Persian, CEO of Cat Fancy, envisions a seamless internet experience where cat lovers do not have to go to separate sites to get their daily dose of international relations analysis. “We like the idea of dressing up kittens like Hamid Karzai. Wouldn’t that be informative. And adorable?”

Financial analysts report that Cat Fancy is highly liquid. The Duck, on the other hand, owing to its recent transition to Word Press is highly leveraged. Permanent contributors currently owe over $100 to the blog’s main creditor, Laura Sjoberg. Reached for comment, permanent Duck contributor Dan Nexon issues a terse statement: “I has no comment on dis at the advize of me loyerz.”

Cat Fancy, however, has competition for the Duck. The Jamie Bamber Fan site is also considering purchasing the site. So far other prominent blogs such as the Monkey Cage appear secure, most likely because they generally feature no pictures of any animals, not even monkeys.

 

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