The Trump-Kim Nuclear Summit By: Dr. Seuss

25 June 2018, 0900 EDT

The following is a guest post by Mason Richey, an associate professor of international studies at Hankuk University of Foreign Studies.

 

I am Trump; I am Trump.

 

Trump I am.

 

That Trump I am, that Trump I am, I do not like that Trump I am.

 

Would you like CVID[1]?

 

I do not like it, don’t you see? I do not like CVID.

Would you like it here or there?

 

I would not like it here or there, I would not like it anywhere. I do not like CVID, I do not like it, don’t you see?

 

Would you like it in Kaesong, would you like it for your Hwaseong?

 

I do not like it in Kaesong, I do not like it for my Hwaseong. I do not like it here or there, I do not like it anywhere. I do not like CVID, I do not like it, don’t you see?

 

Would you do it for some cash? Or we will surely bomb your stash.

 

Not for some cash, you won’t bomb my stash. Not in Kaesong, not for Hwaseong. I would not do it here or there, I would not do it anywhere. I do not like CVID, I do not like it, don’t you see?

 

Would you, could you with soju? We need to find your HEU.

 

I would not, could with soju.

 

You may like it, you will see. I can call the UNSC.

 

I would not, could not for the UNSC. And not with soju, you let me be!

 

I do not like it for some cash, you lack intel to bomb my stash. I do not like it in Kaesong, I do not like it for my Hwaseong. I do not like it here or there, I do not like it anywhere. I do not like CVID, I do not like it, don’t you see?

 

The train! The train! The train! The train! What if we met on your yuuuuuuge green train?

 

Not on my train, not for the UNSC. Not with soju, you let me be! I would not, could not for some cash, I still don’t think you’ll bomb my stash. I will not do it at Kaesong, I will not do it for my Hwaseong. I will not do it here or there, I will not do it anywhere. I do not like CVID, I do not like it, don’t you see?

 

Say, at Yongbyon? There at Yongbyon? Would you, could at Yongbyon?

 

I would not, could not at Yongbyon.

 

Would you, could you, exiled in Spain?

 

I would not, could not, exiled in Spain. Not at Yongbyon. Not on my train. Not with soju, or the UNSC. I do not like it, Trump, you see. Not in Kaesong, not for some cash. Not for my Hwaseong. You won’t bomb my stash. I will not do it here or there, I will not do it anywhere!

 

You do not like CVID?

 

I do not like it, Trump, you see.

 

Would you, could you for a Nobel Prize?

 

I would not, could not for a Nobel Prize.

 

Would you, could you over burgers and fries?

 

I could not, would not, over burgers and fries. I will not, will not, for a Nobel Prize. I will not do it exiled in Spain. I will not discuss it in my huge green train. Not at Yongbyon. Not with the UNSC. Not with soju. You let me be! I do not like it, don’t you see? I will not do it for some cash. Your intel guys can’t find my stash. I do not want it at Kaesong. I do not want it for my Hwaseong. I do not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere.

 

I do not like CVID!

 

I do not like it, Trump, you see.

 

You do not like it. So you say. Try it! Try it! And you may. Try it and you may, I say.

 

Trump! If you will let me be, I will try it. You will see.

 

No! I still don’t like CVID! I do not like it, now let me be! I won’t do it over burgers and fries. I won’t do it for a Nobel Prize. Neither exiled in Spain, nor at Yongbyon. And I won’t do it for some cash. I still won’t let you take my stash. I can’t do it in Kaesong. You can’t pack up my Hwaseong.

 

I do not like this CVID; Trump, you failed at persuading me.

 

[1] Complete, verifiable, irreversible dismantlement of North Korea’s nuclear weapons program.